Lol

This is so funny and so true, just go to these sites (don't worry totally clean)
http://www.funnyjunk.com/pages/fool.htm (totally true)
http://www.funnyjunk.com/pages/awesome.htm
http://www.funnyjunk.com/pages/ice_cream.htm (not true...)
http://www.funnyjunk.com/p/0434-jpg.html (weird...)
http://www.funnyjunk.com/p/tiredkitten-jpg.html (cute...)
http://www.funnyjunk.com/p/0468-jpg.html (hehe...i have one of these on my door....)
http://www.funnyjunk.com/pages/traffic_ticket.htm (kinda funny....)
http://www.funnyjunk.com/pages/mad_cow_disease.htm (turn your speakers up real loud....)
enjoy

Trouble

im having book trouble....i restarted with a new plot, yet i can't think of a new plot! i need help....any ideas? i'll be sure to mention you, if i use your idea, when i publish it.... please help!

Joke One

A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender for some quackers. The bartender explains that the bar doesn't have any quackers. The next day, the same duck walks into the bar and asks the bartender for some quackers. The bartender again explains that the bar doesn't serve quackers. Sure enough, the very next day, the duck again walks into the bar and asks for some quackers. The bartender screams at the duck, "If you come in here one more time, I'm going to nail your beak into the wall with a hammer and some nails! " A few days pass, and then the duck walks into the bar again.The bartender notices the duck and says, "I'm warning you!" The duck replies, "Do you have a hammer?" The bartender replies, "No!" The duck asks, "Do you have any nails?" The bartender replies, "No!" The duck grins and asks, "Do you have any quackers?"

Joke Two
A True Senior Moment
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two elderly gentlemen were talking, and one said, "Last night we went out to a new restaurant, and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly." The other man said, "What is the name of the restaurant?" The first man thought and thought and finally said, "What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know... the one that is red and has thorns." "Do you mean a rose?" "Yes," the man said and then he turned toward the kitchen and yelled, "Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?"

Joke Three
Things a Mother would never say.
1.How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?
2.Yeah, I used to cut class a lot too.
3.Let me smell that shirt - don't worry, it's good for another week.
4.Go ahead and keep that stray dog, honey. I'll be glad to feed and walk him every day.
5.That outfit isn't sexy enough, here, unbutton your blouse.
6.Why don't you hitchhike? It would totally be cheaper.
7.The curfew is just a general time to shoot for. It's not like I'm running a prison around here. 8.Don't clean your room so often. It makes the rest of the house look bad.
9.Can I borrow your new speed metal CDs?
10.Naw, you don't have to call me, I'll eventually figure it out if you're in trouble.

Joke Four
A big, fat lady walks into a bar with a duck under her arm. The bartender says," Hey, where'd you get the pig." She says, "It's not a pig it's a duck." He says, "I was talking to the duck."

Joke Five
He is not stupid!
Mrs. White asked her 4th grade class if they thought they were stupid and, if so, to please stand. Little Jimmy stood up, alone. Mrs. White said, "Jimmy, do you really think you're stupid?" "No," Jimmy said. "But I didn't want you standing up there alone."

Joke Six
Confused Child
Little Johnny came home from school with a note from his teacher saying that Johnny was having trouble telling the difference between boys and girls, and would his mother please sit down and have a talk with Johnny about this. So Johnny's mother takes him quietly by the hand upstairs to her bedroom, and closes the door. "First, Johnny, I want you to take off my blouse",she said, so Johnny unbuttons her blouse and takes it off. "O.K., now take off my skirt", and he takes off her skirt. "Now take off my bra", which he does. "And now, Johnny, please take off my panties". Johnny finishes removing these too. His mother then says, "Johnny, PLEASE don't wear any of my clothes to school anymore!

Joke Seven
The seal
A mother and her young son returned from the grocery store and began putting away the groceries. The boy opened the box of animal crackers and spread them all over the table. "What are you doing," his mother asked? "The box says you can't eat them if the seal is broken," the boy explained. "I'm looking for the seal."

Joke Eight
The nice guy
A lady and her baby get on a bus. The bus driver looks at the lady, and then her baby, and then screams, "AHHHH! That's the ugliest child I've ever seen in my life!" The lady then, totally disgusted, marches up to the back of the bus to sit down. As she was sitting there absolutely furious, a man asks, "Are you ok, dear?" The lady replies, "I'm so angry, that bus driver just insulted me." The man says, "You go back up there and give that bus driver a piece of your mind, and I'll watch your monkey."

Joke Nine
A boy was in school and the teacher asks him, ''Bobby, what is round and red?'' Bobby says, ''A banana!'' The teacher says, ''No, Bobby, it's an apple, but at least I know that you were thinking.'' The teacher asks him again what is long and yellow and Bobby says, ''An apple!'' The teacher says, ''No Bobby, but at least you you were thinking.'' Bobby then looked down in his desk and asked the teacher, ''What is 4 inches long, yellow and has red on the tip?'' The teacher says, ''BOBBY!! Is that what I think it is? A penis?'' Bobby says, ''No, it's a match, but at least I know you were thinking!!''

Joke Ten
Actual Label Instructions
In case you needed further proof that the Human Race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer products:
1. On a blanket from Taiwan - NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO.
2. On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists - REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU.
3. On a Taiwanese shampoo - USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE.
4. On the bottle-top of a (UK) flavoured milk drink - AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT.
5. On a New Zealand insect spray - THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS.
6. In a US guide to setting up a new computer - TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP TO ROOM TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING. (Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE the box.)
7. On a Japanese product used to relieve painful hemorrhoids - LIE DOWN ON BED AND INSERT POSCOOL SLOWLY UP TO THE PROJECTED PORTION LIKE A SWORD-GUARD INTO ANAL DUCT. WHILE INSERTING POSCOOL FORAPPROXIMATELY 5 MINUTES, KEEP QUIET.
8. In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles - OPEN OTHER END.
9. On a packet of Sunmaid raisins - WHY NOT TRY TOSSING OVER YOUR FAVOURITE BREAKFAST CEREAL?
10. On a Sears hairdryer - DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING.
11. On a bag of Fritos - YOU COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. DETAILS INSIDE. (The shoplifter special!)
12. On a bar of Dial soap - DIRECTIONS - USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP. (And that would be how?)
13. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box) - DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN. (Too late! You lose!)
14. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding - PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING. (Are you sure? Let's experiment.)
15. On a Korean kitchen knife - WARNING: KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN. (Dammit! Who are they to tell me what to do with my kids?)
16. On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights - FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY. (As opposed to use in outer space?)
17. On a Japanese food processor - NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE. (Now I'm curious.)
18. On Sainsbury's peanuts - WARNING - CONTAINS NUTS. (Really? Peanuts contain nuts?) 19. On an American Airlines packet of nuts INSTRUCTIONS - OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS. (I'm glad they cleared that up.)
20. On a Swedish chainsaw - DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS OR GENITALS. (What kind of consumer phone-call led to this warning?)
21. On a child's superman costume - WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY. (That's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)
22. On some frozen dinners: SERVING SUGGESTION: DEFROST.
23. On a hotel provided shower cap in a box: FITS ONE HEAD.
24. On packaging for a Rowenta iron: DO NOT IRON CLOTHES ON BODY.
25. On Boot's "Children's" cough medicine: DO NOT DRIVE CAR OR OPERATE MACHINERY. 26. On Nightly sleep aid: WARNING: MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS. (Duh!)

Joke Eleven
Tickle Me Elmo
A women desperately looking for work goes into Erwin. The personal manager goes over her resume and explains to her that he regrets he has nothing worthy of her. The woman answers that she really needs work and will take almost anything. The personal manager hums and haws and finally says he does have a low skill job on the "Tickle Me Elmo" line and nothing else. The woman happily excepts. He takes her down to the line and explains her duties and that she should be in for 8:00 AM the next day. The next day at 8:45 there's a knock at the personal manager's door. The "Tickle Me Elmo" line manager comes in and starts ranting about the woman he just hired. After screaming for 15 minutes about how badly backed up the assembly line is the personal manager suggested he show him the problem. Together they head down to the line and sure enough Elmos are backed up from here to kingdom come. Right at the end of the line is the woman just hired, she has pulled over a roll of the material used for the Elmos and has a big bag of marbles. They both watch as she cuts a little piece of fabric and takes 2 marbles and starts sewing them between Elmo's legs. The personal managers starts to kill himself laughing and finally after 20 minutes of rolling around he pulls himself together and walks over to the new employee and says, "I'm sorry. I guess you misunderstood me yesterday. What I wanted you to do was give Elmo two test tickles."

Hello

Hey this is Amy, Breezy's friend....don't tell her i got ahold of her password.......uh oh...shes coming!......ow!!! don't bite me!!Help!!!! Shes hurting me!!!.....What are you doing with that?......Put it back!!!!...................This is Breezy, Amy is incapacitated at the moment, so please talk to her later......

Hello

I haven't posted in a while...I don't know why, but I was just curious, if any of you were even slightly poeticly inclined could you please check out my poems (the link is on this page) and comment on them? Please, I love it when you all comment.....

Comments

K, please don't delete your comments! I love it when you guys comment, i don't care what you sa as long as you comment

My Pic 

Highlights

Im geting highlights!!Im geting highlights!!Im geting highlights!!Im geting highlights!!Im geting highlights!!Im geting highlights!!Im geting highlights!!Im geting highlights!! Sorry im happy!!! They look really good...at least thats wha my sis tells me...they aren't done yet so im not allowed to look.....

More Funny Phobias

Ecclesiophobia-Fear of church.
Ecophobia-Fear of home.
Eicophobia or Oikophobia-Fear of home surroundings.
Eisoptrophobia-Fear of mirrors or of seeing oneself in a mirror.
Electrophobia-Fear of electricity.
Eleutherophobia-Fear of freedom.
Elurophobia-Fear of cats. (Ailurophobia)
Emetophobia-Fear of vomiting.
Enetophobia-Fear of pins.
Enochlophobia-Fear of crowds.
Enosiophobia or Enissophobia-Fear of having committed an unpardonable sin or of criticism.
Entomophobia-Fear of insects.
Eosophobia-Fear of dawn or daylight.
Ephebiphobia-Fear of teenagers.
Epistaxiophobia-Fear of nosebleeds.
Epistemophobia-Fear of knowledge.
Equinophobia-Fear of horses.
Eremophobia-Fear of being oneself or of lonliness.
Ereuthrophobia-Fear of blushing.
Ergasiophobia-1) Fear of work or functioning. 2) Surgeon's fear of operating.
Ergophobia-Fear of work.
Erotophobia-Fear of sexual love or sexual questions.
Erythrophobia, Erytophobia or Ereuthophobia-1) Fear of redlights. 2) Blushing. 3) Red.
Euphobia-Fear of hearing good news.
Eurotophobia-Fear of female genitalia.
Febriphobia, Fibriphobia or Fibriophobia-Fear of fever.
Felinophobia-Fear of cats. (Ailurophobia, Elurophobia, Galeophobia, Gatophobia)
Francophobia-Fear of France, French culture. (Gallophobia, Galiophobia)
Frigophobia-Fear of cold, cold things.
Galeophobia or Gatophobia-Fear of cats.
Gallophobia or Galiophobia-Fear France, French culture. (Francophobia)
Gamophobia-Fear of marriage.
Geliophobia-Fear of laughter.
Geniophobia-Fear of chins.
Genophobia-Fear of sex.
Genuphobia-Fear of knees.
Gephyrophobia, Gephydrophobia, or Gephysrophobia-Fear of crossing bridges.
Gerascophobia-Fear of growing old.
Germanophobia-Fear of Germany, German culture, etc.
Gerontophobia-Fear of old people or of growing old.
Geumaphobia or Geumophobia-Fear of taste.
Glossophobia-Fear of speaking in public or of trying to speak.
Gnosiophobia-Fear of knowledge.
Graphophobia-Fear of writing or handwriting.
Gymnophobia-Fear of nudity.
Gynephobia or Gynophobia-Fear of women.
Hadephobia-Fear of hell.
Hagiophobia-Fear of saints or holy things.
Hamartophobia-Fear of sinning.
Haphephobia or Haptephobia-Fear of being touched.
Harpaxophobia-Fear of being robbed.
Hedonophobia-Fear of feeling pleasure.
Heliophobia-Fear of the sun.
Hellenologophobia-Fear of Greek terms or complex scientific terminology.
Helminthophobia-Fear of being infested with worms.
Hemophobia or Hemaphobia or Hematophobia-Fear of blood.
Heresyphobia or Hereiophobia-Fear of challenges to official doctrine or of radical deviation.
Herpetophobia-Fear of reptiles or creepy, crawly things.
Heterophobia-Fear of the opposite sex. (Sexophobia)
Hierophobia-Fear of priests or sacred things.
Hippophobia-Fear of horses.
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia-Fear of long words.
Hobophobia-Fear of bums or beggars.
Hodophobia-Fear of road travel.
Homichlophobia-Fear of fog.
Homilophobia-Fear of sermons.
Hominophobia-Fear of men.
Homophobia-Fear of sameness, monotony or of homosexuality or of becoming homosexual.
Hoplophobia-Fear of firearms.
Hormephobia-Fear of shock.
Hydrargyophobia-Fear of mercurial medicines.
Hydrophobia-Fear of water or of rabies.
Hydrophobophobia-Fear of rabies.
Hyelophobia or Hyalophobia-Fear of glass.
Hygrophobia-Fear of liquids, dampness, or moisture.
Hylephobia-Fear of materialism OR the fear of epilepsy.
Hylophobia-Fear of forests.
Hypengyophobia or Hypegiaphobia-Fear of responsibility.
Hypnophobia-Fear of sleep or of being hypnotized.
Hypsiphobia-Fear of height.

More later
Love the one and only Chipmunk

ok

I know the blog template stamatics like the back of my hand (although the sidebar won't turn green!!!!!). So Oz if you want me to querk the Drama blog tell me and I'll be happy to, or JB, or anybody else I didn't know had a blog. Or if you don't have a blog but another site gimme the name and i'll figure out its template and be happy to querk it for you. just an offer....

Fears

Heres a list of all the phobias I know of, enjoy

Ablutophobia-Fear of washing or bathing.
Acarophobia-Fear of itching or of the insects that cause itching.
Acerophobia-Fear of sourness.
Achluophobia-Fear of darkness.
Acousticophobia-Fear of noise.
Acrophobia-Fear of heights.
Aeroacrophobia-Fear of open high places.
Aeronausiphobia-Fear of vomiting secondary to airsickness.
Aerophobia-Fear of drafts, air swallowing, or airbourne noxious substances.
Agateophobia-Fear of insanity.
Agliophobia-Fear of pain.
Agoraphobia-Fear of open spaces or of being in crowded, public places like markets. Fear of leaving a safe place.
Agraphobia-Fear of sexual abuse.
Agrizoophobia-Fear of wild animals.
Agyrophobia-Fear of streets or crossing the street.
Aichmophobia-Fear of needles or pointed objects.
Ailurophobia-Fear of cats.
Albuminurophobia-Fear of kidney disease.
Alektorophobia-Fear of chickens.
Algophobia-Fear of pain.
Alliumphobia-Fear of garlic.
Allodoxaphobia-Fear of opinions.
Altophobia-Fear of heights.
Amathophobia-Fear of dust.
Amaxophobia-Fear of riding in a car.
Ambulophobia-Fear of walking.
Amnesiphobia-Fear of amnesia.
Amychophobia-Fear of scratches or being scratched.
Anablephobia-Fear of looking up.
Ancraophobia or Anemophobia-Fear of wind.
Androphobia-Fear of men.
Anemophobia-Fear of air drafts or wind.
Anginophobia-Fear of angina, choking or narrowness.
Anglophobia-Fear of England, English culture, etc.
Angrophobia-Fear of anger or of becoming angry.
Ankylophobia-Fear of immobility of a joint.
Anthrophobia or Anthophobia-Fear of flowers.
Anthropophobia-Fear of people or society.
Antlophobia-Fear of floods.
Anuptaphobia-Fear of staying single.
Apeirophobia-Fear of infinity.
Aphenphosmphobia-Fear of being touched. (Haphephobia)
Apiphobia-Fear of bees.
Apotemnophobia-Fear of persons with amputations.
Arachibutyrophobia-Fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth.
Arachnephobia or Arachnophobia-Fear of spiders.
Arithmophobia-Fear of numbers.
Arrhenphobia-Fear of men.
Arsonphobia-Fear of fire.
Asthenophobia-Fear of fainting or weakness.
Astraphobia or Astrapophobia-Fear of thunder and lightning.
Astrophobia-Fear of stars and celestial space.
Asymmetriphobia-Fear of asymmetrical things.
Ataxiophobia-Fear of ataxia (muscular incoordination)
Ataxophobia-Fear of disorder or untidiness.
Atelophobia-Fear of imperfection.
Atephobia-Fear of ruin or ruins.
Athazagoraphobia-Fear of being forgotton or ignored or forgetting.
Atomosophobia-Fear of atomic explosions.
Atychiphobia-Fear of failure.
Aulophobia-Fear of flutes.
Aurophobia-Fear of gold.
Auroraphobia-Fear of Northern lights.
Autodysomophobia-Fear of one that has a vile odor.
Automatonophobia-Fear of ventriloquist's dummies, animatronic creatures, wax statues Automysophobia-Fear of being dirty.
Autophobia-Fear of being alone or of oneself.
Aviophobia or Aviatophobia-Fear of flying.
Bacillophobia-Fear of microbes.
Bacteriophobia-Fear of bacteria.
Ballistophobia-Fear of missiles or bullets.
Barophobia-Fear of gravity.
Basophobia or Basiphobia-Inability to stand. Fear of walking or falling.
Bathmophobia-Fear of stairs or steep slopes.
Bathophobia-Fear of depth.
Batophobia-Fear of heights or being close to high buildings.
Batrachophobia-Fear of amphibians, such as frogs, newts, salamanders, etc.
Belonephobia-Fear of pins and needles. (Aichmophobia)
Bibliophobia-Fear of books.
Blennophobia-Fear of slime.
Bogyphobia-Fear of bogies or the bogeyman.
Bolshephobia-Fear of Bolsheviks.
Botanophobia-Fear of plants.
Bromidrosiphobia or Bromidrophobia-Fear of body smells.
Brontophobia-Fear of thunder and lightning.
Bufonophobia-Fear of toads.
Cacophobia-Fear of ugliness.
Cainophobia or Cainotophobia-Fear of newness, novelty.
Caligynephobia-Fear of beautiful women.
Cancerophobia-Fear of cancer.
Carcinophobia-Fear of cancer.
Cardiophobia-Fear of the heart.
Carnophobia-Fear of meat.
Catagelophobia-Fear of being ridiculed.
Catapedaphobia-Fear of jumping from high and low places.
Cathisophobia-Fear of sitting.
Catoptrophobia-Fear of mirrors.
Cenophobia or Centophobia-Fear of new things or ideas.
Ceraunophobia-Fear of thunder.
Chaetophobia-Fear of hair.
Cheimaphobia or Cheimatophobia-Fear of cold.
Chemophobia-Fear of chemicals or working with chemicals.
Cherophobia-Fear of gaiety.
Chionophobia-Fear of snow.
Chiraptophobia-Fear of being touched.
Chirophobia-Fear of hands.
Cholerophobia-Fear of anger or the fear of cholera.
Chorophobia-Fear of dancing.
Chrometophobia or Chrematophobia-Fear of money.
Chromophobia or Chromatophobia-Fear of colors.
Chronomentrophobia-Fear of clocks.
Chronophobia-Fear of time.
Cibophobia or Sitophobia or Sitiophobia-Fear of food.
Claustrophobia-Fear of confined spaces.
Cleithrophobia or Cleisiophobia-Fear of being locked in an enclosed place.
Cleptophobia-Fear of stealing.
Climacophobia-Fear of stairs, climbing or of falling downstairs.
Clinophobia-Fear of going to bed.
Clithrophobia or Cleithrophobia-Fear of being enclosed.
Cnidophobia-Fear of stings.
Coimetrophobia-Fear of cemeteries.
Coitophobia-Fear of coitus.
Cometophobia-Fear of comets.
Contreltophobia-Fear of sexual abuse.
Coprastasophobia-Fear of constipation.
Coprophobia-Fear of feces.
Coulrophobia-Fear of clowns.
Counterphobia-The preference by a phobic for fearful situations.
Cremnophobia-Fear of precipices.
Cryophobia-Fear of extreme cold, ice or frost.
Crystallophobia-Fear of crystals or glass.
Cyberphobia-Fear of computers or working on a computer.
Cyclophobia-Fear of bicycles.
Cymophobia-Fear of waves or wave like motions.
Cynophobia-Fear of dogs or rabies.
Cypridophobia, Cypriphobia, Cyprianophobia, or Cyprinophobia-Fear of prostitutes or venereal disease.
Decidophobia-Fear of making decisions.
Defecaloesiophobia-Fear of painful bowels movements.
Deipnophobia-Fear of dining or dinner conversations.
Dementophobia-Fear of insanity.
Demonophobia or Daemonophobia-Fear of demons.
Demophobia-Fear of crowds. (Agoraphobia)
Dendrophobia-Fear of trees.
Dentophobia-Fear of dentists.
Dermatophobia-Fear of skin lesions.
Dermatosiophobia or Dermatophobia or Dermatopathophobia-Fear of skin disease.
Dextrophobia-Fear of objects at the right side of the body.
Diabetophobia-Fear of diabetes.
Didaskaleinophobia-Fear of going to school.
Dikephobia-Fear of justice.
Dinophobia-Fear of dizziness or whirlpools.
Diplophobia-Fear of double vision.
Dipsophobia-Fear of drinking.
Dishabiliophobia-Fear of undressing in front of someone.
Domatophobia or Oikophobia-Fear of houses or being in a house.
Doraphobia-Fear of fur or skins of animals.
Doxophobia-Fear of expressing opinions or of receiving praise.
Dromophobia-Fear of crossing streets.
Dutchphobia-Fear of the Dutch.
Dysmorphophobia-Fear of deformity.
Dystychiphobia-Fear of accidents.

theres a few of them i'll post the rest soon.

Beginning

First post, only one rule, no swearing, other then that post whatever